On the bus yesterday, crowded and with all sorts of people, the practice of feeling all as Spirit and as me came into the foreground.

Feeling it all as Spirit. All the many flavors of people, the bus and everything else, felt as Spirit, as one substance, as fullness and emptiness, as awake emptiness and form, as the intelligent, loving and alive luminosity.

And feeling it all as me. Feeling the flavors of people as me, as mirrors on my human level. Feeling into the fullness of humanity, out there and also in here, no matter how it shows up. Whatever is out there is also in here, in its felt fullness.

At the same time, there was a sense of giving it all to the fertile darkness, of everything composting itself within and as the fertile darkness. All the forms, all the flavors of humanity, all the many forms of human life.

Composting it all, through feeling into it and seeing it all as Spirit, as fullness and emptiness, as living awake luminous emptiness and form. The composting seems to happen when both are present. The feeling into the many flavors of form gives it fullness and presence. The feeling into it as Spirit allows it to unfold and transmute.

To put it into more everyday language: composting involves feeling into whatever arises, while allowing space for it to unfold and change. It is very simple. And it is similar to what happens naturally in mediations such as Shikantaza, although there is a slight engagement through the feeling into what arises.

It seems to bring about a healing, especially at an emotional level. From reactive emotions, the emotions gives a sense of quiet nurturing fullness. And it seems to bring about awakening, through feeling into it all as Spirit, as fullness and emptiness, alive awake luminous emptiness and form.

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[initial entry]

On the bus yesterday, crowded and with all sorts of people, the practice of feeling all as Spirit and as me came into the foreground.

Feeling it all as Spirit, all the many flavors of people, the bus and everything else. Felt as Spirit, as one substance, as fullness and emptiness, awake emptiness and form.

And feeling it all as me, at my human level, as mirrors for me. Feeling into the fullness of humanity, out there and in here, no matter how it shows up. Whatever is out there, is also in here, in its felt fullness.

At the same time, there was a sense of giving it all to the fertile darkness, of everything composting itself within and as the fertile darkness. All the forms, all the flavors of humanity, all the many forms of human life.

Again, this is something that goes beyond what is easily conveyed by words. It is easy enough to talk about working with projections on a more mental and felt level. But the composting part is different. I still don't know how to describe that in a way that would allow others to find it for themselves. Maybe it will come with time.

There is a sense of feeling into it, while also seeing it as Spirit, as awake emptiness and form. There is a holding of both, which allows what is felt and seen to transform.

Labels: endarkenment