Inquiry :: Without Stories
Here's another belief, somewhere there under the surface...
I often notice a difference between my conscious worldview (formed from first and second hand experiences, explorations of ideas, and what I would like to be true) and my beliefs (formed who knows how - probably from experiences with parents, family, subcultures, culture and so on).
For instance, my experience tells me that living without stories is a liberation and allows the inherent clarity, compassion, wisdom, receptivity and effortless effectivity of the mind to unfold. I see this over and over, in smaller and larger ways. Yet, I am also sometimes aware of beliefs in me saying something along the lines of...
Without my stories, something terrible will happen. (I will stay in situations that others see as very destructive and I am blind to.)
- Yes.
- No (Cannot know that for sure.)
- How do I react when I have that belief?
Fear of what may happen if beliefs go away. Fear of not noticing situations destructive to me, of not acting, of not taking initiative. Fear of becoming complacent, a vegetable.
What is the worst that can happen if I don't have that belief?
That I will get stuck in desctructive situations, without any desire to get out of it.
What do I get from holding onto that belief?
I get to hold onto beliefs. To not sincerely explore them. To hold back. To feel that I am stuck. To see any talk about allowing beliefs to drop as naive. To be right.
How do I treat others when I have that belief?
Impatient when they either contradict my stories, or I sense they want me to drop them. Defensive. Holding back. Pretending to go along, at best. - Who am I without that thought?
Free to be without stories, if that is what happens. OK with it. Able to enjoy it. Free from a sense of something terrible happening if I allow beliefs to go. - (a) Without my stories, something terrible will not happen. (I will not stay in situations that others see as very destructive and I am blind to.)
Yes, that is my experience. It frees up clarity, wisdom, compassion, receptivity, ability to engage more freely and appropriately - more from flow, from a sense of intimacy with myself, others, life, existence.
(b) ...
Labels: own inquiry, stories