Here is a thought that sometimes comes up, in various situations...

I should be able to get over it (pull myself out of it).

1. Yes (Feels true.)
   
   
2. No (Cannot know that is true. Also, don't know what is best for my path. Maybe this is exactly what I need right now.)
   
   
3. How do I react when I have that belief?
   
   Frustrated over not being able to pull myself out of it. Blame myself for it. Feel shame. Guilt. Fear of being stuck here, of never getting out of it. Fear of what may happen if I continue to be stuck.
   
   How do I treat others when I believe that thought?
   
   I apologize in various ways. I also sometimes try to hide this aspect of me, from shame.
   
   What is the worst that can happen if I don't have that belief?
   
   I won't be motivated to pull myself out of it. I'll be stuck, and not notice or not want to change it.
   
   What do I get from holding on to that belief?
   
   I get a sense of (at least potentially) being in control. Of being a doer. An initiator. Someone who can change things. Someone who is relatively independent.
   
   I also get to be seen as someone who wants to pull himself out of it. Someone who is responsible, a "good" person.
   
   
4. Who or what would I be without that thought?
   
   At peace with what is. Free from shoulds about it. Free from the extra layer of shoulds and thoughts around it. Free to allow what is, and the inherent dynamism in it - allow it to move along, unfold its process.
   
   
5. (a) I should not be able to get over it (pull myself out of it).
   
   If that is what is, then that is the reality of it - until it isn't.
   
   >> Also, it may be just what I need. I notice an identity as someone who is (a) a doer and initiator, and (b) capable of changing any situation to make it more pleasant, more aligned with my wishes and identity. This situation helps me see the attachment to that idea, and how confused it is. How confused I am when I believe in it. How much out of alignment with what is I am then.
   
   (b) I should be able to get over my thoughts (pull myself out of them).
   
   I should be able to pull myself out of them, through examining them - seeing what is more true for me, in my own immediate experience. All I need is to (a) notice stress, (b) find the belief(s) behind it and (c) inquire into it.
   
   (c) I should not be able to get over my thoughts (pull myself out of them).
   
   When I am not, then that is the reality of it. I am not able to pull myself out of them, there and then. And that is OK too.
   
   (d) They should be able to get over it (pull themselves out of it).
   
   Yes, and they can if they use inquiry. If it all comes together so they have the opportunity and interest in using it. Also, I see how my role could be to offer inquiry to others, more. To make it available for just those people who happen to cross paths with me, and can hear it from me.
   
   (e) They should not be able to get over it (pull themselves out of it).
   
   Well, same as for me. If they are not, then that is the reality of it. And it may help us all see our attachments to certain ideas, to a particular self-image. We hold onto a self-image of a doer, and this helps us see that it is not aligned with what is.
   

Labels: own inquiry