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Alive luminosity, endarkenment, centers

From an email I sent to Barry and Karen following the diksha Sunday:

Lots of things happened for me during and after the diksha and codes for the three centers.

Alive luminosity

The main one happened the same evening, after I went to bed: An alive, infinitely intelligent and loving, receptive, responsive light everywhere, including streaming in, through and around the body. It is an infinitely alive luminosity I can communicate with, and I offered my intention to it for having many issues resolve in my life (reactiveness, relationships, clinging to identities, health issues.)

From my initial awakening, and since then, I have been familiar with empty luminosity, and everything as awake emptiness and form, in an impersonal form. Its intelligence and love was there but more in the background.

This time, there are the same elements, but as immensely alive. Its aliveness, responsiveness, intelligence and love is in the foreground, to be touched. It is infinite, yet also immensely personal.

I also notice a double thing happening since Sunday: asking the light for it to be resolved, and also giving it to the fertile darkness for composting. Something comes up (a contraction, identity, fear, resistance), and I ask the alive light for it to resolve, and give it to the darkness for composting.

I wonder if the impersonal empty luminosity, and the impersonal awake emptiness and form, has to do with the head awakening (enlightenment), while the personal infinitely alive luminosity has to do with the belly awakening (endarkenment).

It is almost as if they are two aspects of the same empty light, one revealed through enlightenment and revealing mostly its empty and impersonal nature (and the awake empty nature of all form), where this one is revealed through endarkenment and reveals its intimate, personal, alive, receptive, responsive, intelligent and loving nature.

In any case, it is yet another whole new dimension opening up for me.

After having been in the enlightenment for several years, I remember feeling a little "bored" by it, there was not much surprise there, and I felt that there had to be something more to it. Something was missing, and it had to do with embodiment and aliveness. The endarkenment, and the alive light, have these qualities. And it seems that it will only keep unfolding, revealing itself (to itself) in always new ways.

There was also a synchronicity (one of many): I read the first chapter of Facets of Unity by A. H. Almaas on Saturday, and was intrigued by the titles of another chapter: Living Daylight. After the experience of the alive luminosity, I skimmed through this chapter, and his description of living daylight is a very close match to how I experience the alive luminosity, including its personal, loving, wise, receptive and responsive aspects. He even mentions the three soul centers (head, heart and belly), and describes them in very much the same way I as experience them, and as you describe them as well. A nice support for me.

Some other things:

Sunday night, as the alive luminosity cursed through me, there was so much bliss that at some point some fear came up, and the bliss reduced in intensity - although has remained very much alive since then. I slept for twelve hours in the two following nights, and could have slept much longer (lots of processing and reorganizing needed).

I can't remember if I mentioned this in a previous email, but here is how I experience the three centers for now (using some of your terminology):

Three centers

:: Head

Enlightenment. Awake emptiness and form. Seeing all as Spirit. Reorganizing view (nondual context). Yang. Male, masculine. Light. Heaven. Transcendent. Impersonal

:: Belly

Endarkenment. Feeling all as spirit. Reorganizing body/emotions (Less reactive. Sense of fullness, nurturing, being held. Composting anything arising, any resistance, anything coming from a sense of separation, anything at a body/feeling level not coming from all as felt Spirit.) Yin. Female. Feminine. Dark. Earth. Immanent. Personal.

:: Heart

Enlovenment. Loving all as spirit. Reorganizing the heart (open to all form). Embracing, allowing, holding Yang and Yin. Male and female. Masculine and feminine. Impersonal and personal. Heaven and Earth.

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