During the initial diksha, empty light dropped into my body and stayed there, as present and clear now as then. During the Enlovenment diksha last weekend, full darkness dropped into the body, and seems as stable as the empty light. There is a beautiful symmetry there, as with so much else.
I have been drawn to Arvo Pärt's music again for the last week or so. It seems that the fertile void and the empty light are both there in his music, the velvety blackness and the clear luminosity.
For me, this is most clearly expressed in Passio, Misrere, Te Deum, Arbos and Tabula Rasa (the ECM recordings.)
And this is also a reminder of how deeply I was into this during the initial awakening (into the luminosity and the fertile void, during my time in Norway, immersed in Pärt's music, in Orthodox music in general, being a student of Odd Nerdrum, and much more that all combine this sense of black and full earthiness with luminosity and clarity.)
It may be that this is not so new after all. One of the main differences is that then, it all came at once, and now, it comes spaced out more. Then, it just happened, out of the blue, all at once, with a great deal of intensity, and a sense of it being remarkable. Now, it comes in a different way, more spaced out, with less intensity, and as less remarkable.