Seeking the Reflections of Big Mind
As I mentioned briefly in the last post, what the small self is really seeking - in all its confusion - is Big Mind. And what the small self on a spiritual path is seeking, is the reflections of the inherent qualities of Big Mind. The qualities that are present, effortlessly and naturally, in a Big Mind view.
These qualities typically include equanimity (BM is beyond all dualities - there is nothing to seek, there is no other/there), compassion, wisdom, spaciousness.
And as I mentioned, these qualities often take on a somewhat distorted look through the lens of the small self. Equanimity may take the form of repression of unpleasant experiences, emotions and thoughts. Compassion may take the form of repressing own needs (habitually exluding oneself for the benefit of others). Wisdom may take the form of ideology and beliefs, rather than the spontaneous expression of the inherent intelligence of mind.
Still, what the small self senses and seeks, are the qualities of Big Mind, and this seeking may eventually lead towards the shift into Big Mind. Although this shift, as also mentioned in the previous post, cannot happen exclusively by trying - as this only reinforces the small self. One solution is surrender (one way or another) of the exclusive attachment to small self. This allows the shift to Big Mind view to take place.
Language
I noticed as I wrote this that I slipped into a more conventional and impresise language. What I am writing about is awareness/mind and its identifications.
When it is exclusively identified with small self (the relative, phenomena), it functions through dualistic perception. When it is identified with the absolute (its spacious/clear nature), it functions nondually. And when it is identified with Big Mind, it functions transdually.
Hunch
It is interesting that awareness, even when identified with small self, seems to have a hunch of its inherent qualities. Maybe there is a sense of it, a vague memory, which makes it seek it through religions, spirituality, self-improvement techniques and more. And as it is still identified with the small self, it often comes out somewhat distorted. Which in turn may cause it to eventually surrender - to Existence, Big Mind - and shift into this view.