I keep repeating this, and many other things, so I must need it!

Three centers, unified individually and together

When the heart is unified, open to all and everything, it invites the head (view) and belly (emotions, feelings) to be unified as well, and all the three centers tend to function in a more aligned way. (From the little I know about Gurdjieff, I think he talked about something similar, and it is one of the main guidelines in Breema as well.)

Three centers formed within a sense of I and Other, or all as Spirit

Heart, view and emotional patterns formed within a sense of I and Other naturally tends to function in a split way. The heart is open some times and towards some people, and closed other times and other people. The view is split, seeing Existence as inherently divided in various ways. The emotions are reactive. The three centers are often not very well aligned.

Heart, view and emotions formed within a sense of all as Spirit naturally tend to function in a unified way. The heart is open to all situations and people. The view reflects more of a nondual realization. The feelings gives a sense of fullness, nurturing and support. The three centers are aligned.

Daily life

This is very much alive in my daily life. I notice my heart closing off towards someone or something, and the view and emotions automatically follow. The view becomes more dualistic, gives a stronger sense of I and Other, and becomes more rigid and inflexible. The emotions are reactive. And I experience not only the world as split, but my individual self as divided as well.

But if there is the intention of well-wishing, maybe even in the form of prayer for the other person (for all the best unfolding), it changes. My heart becomes unified, open to the world. The view is less split, seeing myself in the other, and all of us in the same boat. My feelings become full, nurturing and supportive. I experience the world and my individual self as more unified.

Other aspects

There is of course an infinity of things happening when our individual self is organized within a sense of I and Other, and then reorganized within all as Spirit.

For instance, when there is a sense of I and Other, there is also resistance, and this resistance is reflected in each of the three centers. The heart is closed. The view sees a split between I and Other, and resists certain ways the world is and certain experiences. The emotions are reactive.

When the centers are reorganized within all as Spirit, the resistance gives way for receptivity. The heart is receptive and open. The view is receptive and more fluid. The feelings are receptive and nurturing.

These seed patterns are reflected throughout our being, including our physical bodies. Within a context of I and Other, our body becomes more rigid, tense, defensive, inflexible, and armored, just as the rest of us. And within a context of all as Spirit, or rather a felt sense of all as Spirit, it becomes relaxed, receptive and supple.

This happens over time, making our bodies a literal embodiment of our sense of the world. And it also happens instantaneously. I close my heart off, and immediately, my muscles tense up (for me, especially the calves.)

Our body, as every other part of us, naturally reflects a sense of the world as split, or of all as Spirit.

Labels: body, emotions, enlovenment, heart, three centers

Just some random recent things, for the record. Or, really, just for my own sake right now - allowing it to pass through by writing it down.

New body

Recently, there has been many periods of experiencing having a new body, or even a new human self. After my acupuncture treatment Monday, I certainly felt that my whole human self was new and different. And it also happened again last night while watching the Papaji movie, and many other times. All of these have been pleasant experiences, so not anything to resist.

It reminds me that I also have other phases where it feels like a different human self, and not so comfortable - if I am seriously sleep deprived, stressed out, have eaten something my body reacts towards and so on. At these times, there is often some resistance - unless I consciously allow the resistance to fall away, consciously stay with and fully experience whatever is going on.

These are of course just more noticeable variations of what is happening all the time. This human self and everything else is always new and different. Everything dies as it is and is reborn as something else, continuously. The stream of content is continuous death and rebirth.

Seeing and seen

There are also times when the whole seer-seen dynamic switches. From having a sense of seer in/around my human self, it shifts to whatever this human self is looking at. I see myself from the eyes of the person this human self is talking with. I see myself from the plant this human self is looking at. I see myself from whatever this human self is looking at. And that is not even quite accurate. There is just what is, the usual content, although now clearly beyond and including seeing and seen, or distinct and free from seeing and seen - and free enough to allow even that overlay sometimes.

Labels: body, currently, impermanence

Hearing other's reports of how they experience themselves help me see what is going on for me. They reflect what has been for me, what is alive now, or what may be.

For me over the last several months, there has been a phase of a sense of neutrality and space. Mostly, there is just space - within which everything happens. There is little or no boundary between this human self and the rest of what is happening, it is just one field of space and phenomena - none of which appears solidly as I, or Other for that matter.

For this physical body where there are just a few disjointed sensations appearing here and there in space, some emotions now and then, and some thoughts now and then. There is a vague sense of center around the head and upper chest area, but it goes away when I look at it - it is just revealed as phenomena arising in space just like everything else. If I don't look, there may be an equally vague sense of "I" here at this "center", and if I look, both vanish - literally - in space.

Whenever I do Breema, either giving or receiving, there is a similar sense of space and a few sensations. The whole from which I can find a body and psyche is very clear, as a whole - as space within which sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts arise (although it seems that only the sensations seems localized in space, the feelings, emotions and especially thoughts just seem to happen - nowhere in particular in space, not really connected with this human body or not).

The word fragmentation came up in a conversation this morning, and I realize that I cannot find that so easily in my own experience now. There is just space and then everything happening within and as this space. I can see that I can heal, mature, develop and so on as a human being, but it is also beyond fragmentation or no fragmentation.

Over these months and within this space, there has been a sense of dryness and flatness, of neutrality, a sense of fatigue, and punctuated by periods of watching stressful thoughts and images arising, and other periods of seeing some of the old exitement coming up.

Labels: body, breema, currently, dryness, emptiness, space

Icecream

I had some ice cream a couple of days ago, and then some hot cheese sandwiches yesterday, and they predictably made for a miserable body. Which in turn influences the mind.

I notice how things get triggered far easier, and also how there is more identification with what is triggered. It seems that instead of just allowing thoughts come and go on their own, with little or no identification, there is an attachment to just about every one of them - each one is hold onto, seen as real, used to make myself miserable in various ways.

Under the rug

And this may be the blessing of icecream for me - or rather food intolerance, because it allows whatever is normally not seen, not paid attention to, swept under the rug, to surface and be seen.

There may be minor triggers, minor beliefs, surfacing during the day, but then left to sink below the surface again since they appear to have little impact. I tend to focus on what goes well, and ignore the minor signs of beliefs and stuckness.

So this is the blessing of the mind/body being in a less healthy and well-functioning state. It allows all of these minor hangups to surface and be noticed. It is an invitation for me to explore them further, to see what is really true for me around those themes. It is an invitation to take more beliefs to inquiry.

Arrogance

When this happens, I also see the tremendous amounts of arrogance still left here. Again, when this body/mind is relatively well-functioning, I don't notice it so much. But when the body/mind goes downhill, it stands out more. I see that everything triggered, every thought held onto and fueled, have to do with arrogance. And a tremendous amount of it.

Whenever I want something else than what is, there is arrogance. It comes from a belief in the idea of I as a segment of what is, as somehow separate from all there is, as I as opposed to Other. Whenever I resist what is, whenever I compare what is with a particular self-image, there is arrogance. It comes from an exclusive identity.

I can see how this crops up everywhere in my life.

And I see how completely innocent it is.

1. There are beliefs in certain thoughts, and I have to see the world and behave in certain ways. When the beliefs are there, there is no choice.
   
   
2. There is also no choice but to hold onto these beliefs until they are seen through.
   
   
3. And when they are seen through, they are automatically dropped like a piece of hot coal. Again, no choice is involved. They have to be dropped.
   

Labels: beliefs, body, samsara

The human system - body, energies, emotions, thoughts - is one seamless fluid whole, as is all of Existence, beyond and including any and all polarities. The question is of course how the connections between the different aspects play themselves out.

For me, there is a very strong connection between food and how I experience myself and the world. Dairy triggers fatigue, sluggishness and dullness. Sugar brings about an energy collapse. And wheat leads to an experience of disassociation, of the world being distanced and of my mind being foggy.

And there are certainly enough data to show that this is true for many of us, both from practitioners and - recently - mainstream research.

We evolved in a situation where we ate with the seasons, and mostly whole and unrefined foods. Now, we tend to eat the same food day in and day out, and much of it is processed and refined.

There is no wonder that the system reacts, and when it changes as a whole it is no wonder that some of the symptoms are in the area of the mind.

It is coming out in the media more, and BBC reported on a typical story today:

Brian Godfrey suffered from chronic depression for about 40 years. [...] The 71-year-old then cut out wheat and dairy and within three weeks was feeling better. "It was a miracle. I just woke up one morning and my problems had gone.

And as he points out, it is exactly those foods we really like (as in addicted to), that are those that tends to be connected with food intolerance and these symptoms. If there is something in your diet that you resist leaving out for a few days - especially if it is wheat, sugar, dairy or something refined - it is very likely that there is a food intolerance there. And it may well be related to symptoms you - and your doctor - never thought could be connected with what you eat.

Labels: body, health

At the Breema intensive, one of the participants asked what she could do about her habitual eating of foods not good for her body. The suggestion was to talk with the body, tell it how much she appreciates it and also apologize for what she does that makes it difficult for the body.

I have tried this over the last few days, and notice a clear shift. There is more a sense of a conscious partnership with the body, and of a friendship with the body.

It is not only a physical object, an appendix that allows me to move around and live in the world, but it becomes a partner, a friend. It becomes someone I have a more conscious relationship with. Someone I want to treat as well as any other living being.

Labels: body, breema

I did a little experiment with using the Big Mind process on some voices typically left out of the standard Big Mind sessions.

Voice of the Body

What is your function?
I take care of the physical structure and processes of the self, including the movements. Without me, there would be no physical self. (Big Mind would say that I am the vehicle which allows Big Mind to become physical.)

How does Per relate to you?
He is mostly oblivious to me, although there are three ways he typically relates to me.

1. Oblivious, off in his own world of fantasies, ideas, past and future. 2. Trying to connect with me too much, and overshooting his goal. The more he tries, the further away he is. He may focus on one aspect of me, but leaves the rest out. 3. Real connection, which happens when he stops trying and just shifts into being present with me.

How can Per connect with you more easily?
He can spend more time in nature. More time just being quiet and present, without trying. More time being aware of the breath, facial expression, body posture, tone of voice, and allowing it to be just as it is here/now. More time doing this...!

How could he benefit from connecting with you more often?
He would be more present - here/now - in his attention. He could pick up signals I am sending him, with information on how to take care of me better. He would be more comfortable with me, more at home in his physical self. More at home in this world, with all these animal bodies. He would be more content and happy.

Do you have any advice for him?
Take some time every day to just be. To sink into the senses - the smells, sounds, touch, taste - of whatever situation you are in here/now. It doesn't matter what it is, just sink into it - be with it, be it. Allow yourself to completely be a physical animal with awakened senses, even if it is for just a few breaths every day. This will have a deeply transformative effect on how he experiences the world.

Labels: big mind process, body, own inquiry