After a vacation from The Work, it is now coming back although a little less intensively than before.
I need to get my life back on track.
- Is it true?
Yes, feels true. (For a part of me.)
- Can I absolutely know it is true?
No, cannot know for certain. Only my opinion, my version of the story.
Can I know that it would be better for my (or others) path?
No, I cannot know it would be better for my path, nor that it would be better for the path of others.
- How do I react when I believe that thought?
I feel that my life is off track, that it used to be on track, then got derailed, and need to get back on track again. I look for evidence for how it is not off track, and also why it used to be on track.
Where in the body do I experience it?
Sinking feeling in the chest and stomach. Uneasy feeling in the stomach.
What images do I see?
I see my examples of how it used to be on track, and now not.
How have I lived my life because of this belief?
Not appreciating my life as it is, not allowing myself to appreciate it. Choosing to not make the most out of it. Going into a victim role.
Whose business am I in when I believe that thought?
My life's business, or life's business, or God's business (not my own.)
What is the most terrible thing that could happen if I don't hold onto that belief?
I wouldn't try to get it back on track. I would be content with it as it is, not knowing that it is off track (!)
- Who would I be without the belief?
I would be content. At peace with it as it is. Appreciate it, as it is. I would find things to appreciate about it, and find ease in appreciating it.
How would I live my life differently without the belief?
I would make the most out of my life, as it is. I would find the gifts in it, appreciate it, even love it.
My life is not off track.
Yes, my story about it being off track is just that. a story. It is my interpretation of it. Something I came up with because it went in a different direction than how I thought it would go, and the way I wanted it to go.
My life is on track.
Yes. It is certainly on some sort of track, although I can't consciously quite see where it is going.
Three examples of why it is on track, even according to my definition of it:
(a) I have time and opportunity to explore these types of things, which even according to my initial definition is being "on track." (b) I am still alive, and doing OK physically and in terms of my circumstances. (c) I have people who care about me, and the other way around, which is another of my initial definitions of being on track.
I am sure I can find more:
(d) I am enjoying good music right now, and the warmth in my body of a good miso soup. The weather is pleasant, going into spring. I live in a nice house, at the edge of the woods, close to a beautiful trail going up to a butte overlooking the local region. (e) The process (of being "off track") has been very humbling for me, wearing off some of the hard and sharp edges, rounding me. Hopefully becoming more mature as a human being. This is certainly being on track, even according to my initial definition. (f) I still have many opportunities open in my life, many directions to go. Most of the initial ones actually.
Labels: own inquiry