Here is another way of talking about what I explored in the previous post:
Our three forms of identities are either/or, both/and, and none.
Our either/or identity: as we appear in the world to others
Our 3rd person daily identity, as we appear in the world to others, is generally an either/or identity. We are either male or female, 25 years old or not, Asian or not, Japanese or not, have black hair or not, is a computer programmer or not, and so on.
This is the identity which allows us to function in the world as a human being, differentiated from and identifiable among others.
Our both/and identity: our experience of our own wholeness
Our third person identity as we appear to ourselves, is an both/and identity, embracing the wholeness of who we are as a human being, recognizing any quality I see in the wider world also in myself. I am kind and cruel, honest and dishonest, masculine and feminine, industrious and lazy, and so on. No human quality is foreign to me. I contain multitudes.
This is the identity which gives us a sense of wholeness, richness, fullness, and connection, intimacy and recognition in relationship with others. There is no identity to defend here, because nothing is left out.
Our absence of identity: in our 1st (or zero) person immediate experience
In our immediate experience of ourselves, differentiated (and sorted out) from our 3rd person identity, we are a void... an awake void... an awake void full of content - and where the content itself is this awake emptiness. And this awake emptiness has no identity, it is free from any identity, and it allows any and all identities to arise as nothing other than awake emptiness itself.
This is the identity which gives a freedom from any identity, and also allows a fluidity among any of the 3rd person identities.
Together: either/or, both/and, and none
So together, there is our 3rd person either/or identity, which allows us to function as an identifiable individual in the world. There is the both/and identity, which allows us to find any quality we see in the world also in ourselves as an individual. And there is the absence of identity, which allows us to find ourselves as awake emptiness and form, inherently absent of any separate self.
Our either/or identity is given, or developed early on in life. Our both/and identity is discovered and explored as we mature into who we are, as an individual human being. And our absence of identity is discovered and noticed as we separate out our 3rd person identity (as a he/she/it) from our 1st (zero) person identity - what we are in immediate awareness.