Something is wrong.
- Is it true?
It certainly feels true.
- Can I absolutely know it is true?
No. The sense of something is wrong only comes from thoughts. From a very limited view and arbitrary guidelines.
- How do I react when I have that belief?
I look for evidence. I see that wherever attention happens to go, I look for and can find evidence. You are wrong. I am wrong. The world is wrong. God is wrong.
I need to identify what is wrong and how it is wrong, and then try to change it.
There is also a sense of hopelessness since I cannot know for sure what is wrong. I know my views are not in any way absolutes.
Where and how do I experience it in the body?
There is a sense of contraction throughout the body. Of uneasiness. Discomfort. This discomfort comes from the belief, and it is also used as a reminder to look for what is wrong - wherever my attention happens to go.
How do I treat others?
As potentially wrong, and as somebody to find something wrong about - in their looks, behaviors, views, history, future and so on. As somebody who should change, and I may take it upon myself to try to change them.
How do I treat myself?
As somebody who needs to identify what is wrong, so it can be seen and ideally corrected. As somebody who is wrong in different ways - views, behavior, looks, history, future.
When did I first have that belief?
In my childhood, probably at a very early age.
What do I get out of holding onto that belief?
I get to be somebody who is looking for right and wrong, who wants to make the world and myself right, who is on the side of the right - even if I don't know what it is.
I experience frustration and confusion in trying to identify what is wrong.
And when I feel I know what is wrong, there is a sense of separation, of something to protect, of having to protect myself from what is wrong. There is fear and loneliness.
- Who or what would I be without the belief?
At ease. Peace. Sense of connection and intimacy with myself, others and the world. Sense of seamlessness. No separation. Interest and curiosity. Discernment absent of separation (and absent of needing to create a sense of separation.) Being on the side of anyone, even while not seeing it quite the same way as them.
There is anything, absent of wrongness. Pain, change of plans, absent of wrongness.
It is very simple. Clear. Sense of ease.
(a) Everything is right
Yes, as or more true. Absent of believing in thoughts, there is no right or wrong to be found. Also, when there is an exploration of what thoughts appear to say about the world, I seem to always find truth in any turnarounds.
(b) My thoughts are wrong.
Well, if there is a belief in them, and especially in the thought that something is wrong, then something certainly appears to be wrong. It makes that experience come alive. But that too is not inherently wrong.
Labels: own inquiry