Anything I can say is obvious.
- Is it true?
It feels true, even if my conscious view is different.
- Can I absolutely know it is true?
No. What does obvious mean? And obvious to whom? Also, I don't know what is best for my path or that of others (maybe saying apparently obvious things is exactly what is needed right now).
- How do I react when I have that belief?
I sensor myself. I talk to myself before saying anything, evaluate it, and either hold it back or say it.
How do I treat myself when I have that belief?
I sensor myself, as listed above. I engage in a pre-emptive strike by attacking and stopping myself before anybody else has a chance.
Also, anything that comes out of my mouth (or is written) has the stamp of approval and is safe and dull to me. I have already seen it and worked through it, so it is obvious to me when it comes out. I don't surprise myself. So I treat myself and whatever comes out of my mouth as boring, as obvious. I bore myself.
How have I lived my life because of that belief?
I often hold back in social conversations, and I also hold back on organizing and giving workshops and presentations on topics of interest to me. I hide and hold back more than I would without it.
How do I treat others when I have that belief?
As somebody who may ignore or attack me if I say something that is obvious. I split the world into I and Other, and experience a strong separation between the two.
Also, when I speak I sometimes frame it as this is completely obvious, but. While it may not be obvious at all for them. Seeing this, and how they may take it, is very uncomfortable for me. It pains me.
What images come up?
Images of teachers, especially spiritual teachers, who say things they seem to think is a revelation, but is completely obvious to me. I cut them down in my mind when this happens. Especially if it goes on.
[New statement: Spiritual teachers shouldn't assume that what they say is not realized by their audience. Spiritual teachers shouldn't present obvious things as if they were not.]
When did I first have that thought?
Seems that it would be in my childhood, although I can't place it very well.
My brother is some years older than me, and I remember him sometimes dismissing what I had to say, or dismissing what was new insights for me as obvious, as something everybody already knows.
What do I get from holding onto that belief?
I get to feel that I protect myself against attack from others, at least attacks of it is obvious. I get to be bored by whatever comes out of my mouth, since it is evaluated and pre-approved as safe. I get to see others as somebody who may ignore or attack me for saying obvious things.
- Who or what would I be without the thought?
I would allow whatever comes up to also come out. I wouldn't sensor as much. It would be far more fresh and surprising. I would surprise myself more. I would be interested in what comes out of my own mouth, and may learn something new from it.
I would see what comes out of my mouth as just happening, as anything else - the clouds, the room, people, behavior, is just happening. It is not personal anymore. It lives its own life. It is fresh and able to surprise me.
How would I live my life differently without the belief?
There would be much more freedom and flow in speaking, writing, and allowing whatever comes out to come out in whatever way it does. I would probably engage in conversations more wholeheartedly. I would probably get back into making music and art. I may give more workshops and presentations on topics I myself find interesting, for my own sake.
- (.o.) Anything I can say is obvious.
What are three genuine gifts there?
If it is already obvious to me or others, it means that we already understand it to some extent, and that is wonderful. It means we can explore and go beyond it.
If it seems obvious to me, it is a reminder that I am censoring myself and only allows that out which is tested, approved and safe. It is an invitation to make it more interesting for myself, by allowing words to come out on their own, to surprise myself.
If anything I can say is obvious, it means that anything anyone can be said is obvious. It is a reflection of something already there, a mirror of an aspect of Existence. When it comes so far that it can be expressed, it is already present and alive.
(a) Anything I can say is surprising.
Yes, anything arising is surprising. It just happens. It comes out of space. It is a mystery beyond comprehension. And this is the case with ideas, thoughts, words and anything expressing as well. Whatever happens is already fresh, new and surprising. It happens on its own. It comes out of empty space.
Also, if there is less or no censoring of it before it comes out, it will be fresh to me. I will surprise myself.
And, it may be surprising to others. If what I say is genuine and from what is alive for me, it will most likely be surprising to others. We all filter the world differently, so if I speak from what is alive for me, it will be just a little different from how it is for them, which will be fresh, different and surprising to them.
(b) Anything others can say is obvious.
Well, I have certainly had that thought, especially with spiritual teachers. It creates a sense of separation and split, and also prevents me from seeing what they say as fresh, to find it freshly in my own experience, to see it alive in immediate awareness.
(c) Anything others can say is surprising.
Yes, it is surprising.
Anything happening is a complete surprise. That anything is at all, is surprising beyond belief. And anything happening is surprising. It just happens on its own. It comes out of empty space. It is fresh, new, different.
And what people say is surprising. I don't know what will come out of anybody's mouth. And it always comes from a different experience of the world than my own. It is surprising to me.
Labels: own inquiry