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Diksha process summary

I received diksha for the first time in Oakland, CA, in July last year. Here is a brief summary of apparently diksha related events since then...

During initial diksha

While receiving the first diksha, I experienced empty light. As I stood up afterwards, there was an experience of this empty light dropping into the body, into every cell.

The days after: absorbed into and as witness

The day after, on my way back to Oregon, I found myself absorbed into witness, into pure seeing. There was little or no identification with this human self, although it functioned well and as before.

A few days later, there was a very strong headache, lasting for three or four days.

Shift from head to body

Initially, it seemed that the diksha energy worked mainly in and around the head. After some weeks, it shifted to work more throughout the body, initially with a focus on the heart area.

Glimpses of space as crystal clear

In the weeks following the initial diksha, there were several moments of a sense of space itself revealing itself as crystal clear.

Shift into realized selflessness

After several weeks, in September (?) 2005, there was a shift into realized selflessness, Ground awakening, of doing but no doer, of absence of identification with either seen or seeing, of Ground coming into the foreground.

This lasted for a couple of months, until a faint sense of I gradually returned. (This happened in a situation where my human self typically becomes very self-conscious, where there was still a belief, an attachment to a thought.)

Following this, there is a vague sense of I if no attention is brought to it, although clearly not there if looked for.

Processing of old stuff

For several months over the winter, there was a very intense processing of old patterns, old beliefs that brought stress into my life. It would especially come up in dreams (for a month, I woke up nearly every morning at 4am from the same type of intense dreams), but also in waking life.

At times, this surfacing of old patterns seemed to be at the limits of what I could take. I found that my only option seemed to just be with them, to allow them to come and go on their own, live their own life.

All dials going to neutral, everything arising as space

Then late winter and early spring, there were several months where all dials went to neutral, and literally everything was experienced as space. There was also some fatigue along with all this.

Summer

Over the last few months the energy and focus has gradually returned, and there is also a sense of the diksha working in the lower half of my body, from my hara down.

During this whole process, there has been a sense of preparing the ground for something, through the work of the diksha energy on the body and also through the emotional/mental processing.

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