Questions II
[As I wrote this, I realized that my question fell away. It became clear that it just came from playing around with abstractions. It may be important for accuracy of communication, but in itself does not seem important.]
Here is an attempt to summarize the question in the previous posting:
The Absolute is described as capacity for the world, a void pregnant with possibilities. A no-thing that everything arises from and within.
First, there is just this experience of what is. When I add one layer of abstractions to it, I see that it can be described as being beyond and including all polarities, including existence and nonexistence. When I add another layer of abstraction to it, I see that the concept of the Absolute relates to the sense of nonexistence in it.
But does the Absolute also refer to pure awareness, or can we say that awareness arise along with the phenomena of the fluid relative world?
In my immediate experience, when I add a layer of abstraction to it, I see that awareness and phenomena appear inseparable. But that is how it would be in either case.
And there is definitely a sense of myself as awareness as timeless and boundaryless, but my experience of myself as awareness does come and go in my relative experience (it is for instance gone during deep sleep, with a few exceptions.)
Of course, this lack of clarity all comes from getting caught up in abstractions. I see that I can explore this to a certain point using abstractions, and still have my center of gravity in immediate experience. But at some point, the abstractions come to the foreground, and it becomes empty speculation. If I continue here, I first experience being confusion. And if I seek or identify with clarity, then there is even the experience of being confused! I make confusion into an "it" and an "other", which then comes up as a disturbance to "me".
I also see that it is all maybe just an academic question. What is - is just what happens in the present. The noseparation of awareness and phenomena. This human self arises along with everything else. And there is not even any "I" to be found anywhere.
At the same time, there is an impulse to clarify. To explore further.