Trigger & Triggered
Another exploration and inquiry...
I find myself as just what is happening, as this field of awareness/phenomena - inherently crystal clear and fresh.
Something in this field is triggering something in another part of this field: an emotion/thought conglomerate in my human self.
If it is just seen as part of the field, then that is it - it just happens as anything else. It arises and fades away.
If there is a habitual attachment to what is triggered, there can also be a contraction of identity from the field as a whole to this one part of the field. From this contraction of identity, a duality emerges between the triggered and the perceived trigger. What is triggered becomes "I" and the perceived trigger "other".
Depending on the situation, "I" could be anything from the emotion/thoughts coming up, to an idea of a human self, or a group, etc. And "other" can also be anything from the specific trigger (words, behavior), to a perceived other human self, a group etc.
To the extent this abstraction appears real, I will act as if it is real. From being what happens, the whole field of it, I become an object within this field pitted against other objects of the field. There is a lot of excitement and drama in it, and also often a quite unhappy situation.
This exploration was especially vivid when I sat in the car with my partner a couple of days ago. She coughed in a particular way, and something in my human self got triggered. And I could see clearly how the habitual pattern was to create a polarity between what was triggered and the trigger (in this case, the emotion triggered and the cough). At the same time, I could see this all happening within the field as well.
I had the option of going further with it an bringing the polarity to the foreground and the field to the background. Or I could allow both to emerge together, or the field in the foreground and the polarity in the background.
Again, there is such a richness in how it all emerges. And such a freedom in it - a freedom of Existence, although not always for our human selves.