Not Knowing
When we come to ourselves as space & awareness, as the function of experiencing, there is no knowing. This space & awareness is distinct from the world of phenomena and that in which all phenomena arises. It is the context for our experiences.
Knowing is always a thought. It is the thought of "I know".
When we awaken to the holarchy of our being - from the small self through to the Witness or Big Mind, from the Relative through to the Absolute - we see all experiences as arising within the context of the Absolute.
There is space to allow the experience to arise and unfold, without getting caught up in them. They are guests passing through, and - as Suzuki Roshi said, we can leave the doors open and don't need to serve them cookies and tea. We see thoughts as what they are, just thoughts. Just abstractions temporarily passing through. They have some uses, but there is no need to take them too seriously. There is no need to believe in them.
The clear seeing - the context, the space & awareness - is gives such as sense of freedom and overview. Why choose to contract down into exclusive identification with experiences?
This is a process, but as we become more familiar with ourselves as clear seeing and the holarchy of being, there is less and less need and desire to get absorbed - and contract - into the temporary experiences of the small self.
Instead of being identified with the experiences or perceiving them as happening to me, they now arise within me.
And this allows us to be more fully engage in the world of phenomena, more fully participating, and with a new sense of ease in daily life.
Inquiry
I know.
- Is it true?
No. It is just a belief, just an idea.
- Can I really know it is true?
(No.)
- How do I react when I hold onto the thought that I know?
Fear of loosing the knowledge I have. Fear of being proven to not know. Fear of this knowledge, which I am protecting so fiercly, not being good enough. Attachment to knowing, to every bit and piece of it. I am more attached to the idea of knowing, and of what I know, than being with what is. I have something to protect. I have an image to uphold. I am stuck in an abstraction. There is a sense of separation from myself, others and Existence. The idea of knowing, and of what I know, prevents me from experiencing Existence as fresh and new.
- Who/what would I be without the thought?
Open. Receptive. Clear. Fluid - able to freely explore different views. Free to allow particular knowledge/insights/ideas come and go. Make use of them when appropriate, and let them go when appropriate. Nothing to protect. Sense of connection and initimacy with myself, others and Existence. Sincerity. Intimacy. Richness. Freshness.
- Turnaround.
I don't know. (Yes, that is more true. I cannot know. Even the term "knowing" doesn't seem so real anymore after this. It has lost its meaning.)