Inquiry Group
We have a small Byron Katie inquiry group meeting here every other week, and I find it to be a great support. It gives a boost to my own inquiry process, and there are always new insights coming up from the interactions. Whenever one of us is exploring the attachments to a particular belief, we all do. The thoughts, and the process of attaching to them, is not confined to any one particular person - although they appear within each of us with an individual flavor.
He shouldn't reject what he doesn't understand.
1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Argumentative. Separation between him (as wrong) and myself (as right). Repeat an imaginary dialogue with him over and over. Stress, constricted breath and stomach. Judgmental of him (missing out of something good) and me (judging him). Also judgmental of myself, as I didn't present it well enough. And it may have been the one right thing for him, and I screwed it up.
4. Appreciative of him taking care of himself, not pushed around. If clear enough to say "no" in this situation, may be clear enough to say "yes" in another - if that seems right to him.
>> 5a. I shouldn't reject what I don't understand. (Yes, when I believe the thought, I reject his decision. As soon as I believe the thought, and he acts in a way that triggers it, I reject him and his decision. I automatically and instantly do exactly what I am telling myself that he should not do.)
>> 5b. I should reject what I understand. (Yes, because it is just another thought. Whenever I think I understand, it is just another thought. Another abstraction, which prevents me from experiencing the freshness of the present.)