There are (at least) two ways of being with experiences...
Atemporal being with
One is atemporal, here and now, just being with and allowing whatever is. This is also a being with whatever resistance arises, which allows a disidentification with this resistance, and this in turn allows for the sense of a separate I to erode and fade, possibly into the field noticing itself as a field, already absent of a separate I. There is an intentional activity here, which is the activity of being with what arises, and that is it.
Temporal being with
Then there is the temporal being with, which is a being with what unfolds over time... Seeing where it leads, what wants to come up, surface, be seen, felt and loved...
Allowing whatever comes up to soften, be held, unravel. Just by seeing, feeling into and love what comes up, there is a deep healing of it, and an unraveling of knots.
And in addition, almost as an afterthought, there is also an insight into patterns (although not always, and not always necessary), which can offer an additional level of healing and unraveling.
Two aspects of the same process
These two are aspects of the same process. The first one is more a meditation, the just sitting type of mediation known as shikantaza in Zen.
The second one is more of a healing process, similar to Process Work, Somatic Experiencing, shamanic work, and many other forms of healing and exploration forms.
And each one contains the other, more or less, depending on the situation and intention.
Within the unfolding of a process is the being with, just as in meditation. And within meditation can be a feeling into and possibly also a loving of whatever arises, depending on the circumstances and intention.
Both as inquiry
And both are inquiry.
Being with whatever arises is really an exploration of who or what am I? It leads to the field (of seeing and seen) to notice itself as a field, already absent of I and Other. Sooner or later, this will happen, and if it hasn't been a conscious inquiry, it certainly becomes one at that point.
Allowing knots to surface and heal is also a form of inquiry. It is an inquiry into seeing, feeling and loving the knots surfacing, and also into the dynamics of the whole process... of knot-making, knot-unraveling, and what is revealed when knots dissolve... which is new layers of who and what we really are, until the same field awakens to itself also through this process.
The onion is peeled until the empty center is reached, and everything is revealed as always and already awake emptiness and form, absent of a separate I.
Both leading to the field awakening to itself
The atemporal being with leads to the field noticing itself as a field, here and now, independent of content.
And the temporal being with leads to an unraveling of knots which leads to the same place: the field awakening to itself as a field, again independent of the particulars of the content.
The individual as a filter for Big Mind, and more or less healed and mature
The individual is a vehicle for Big Mind in the world of form, and also a filter for Big Mind. No matter how awake Big Mind is to itself, it will still be filtered through the particular individual it functions through... its flavors, and its level of healing and maturity.
The atemporal being with is the classic spiritual path, leading to Big Mind awakening to itself. In the process, there is often a healing of the human self, both before and after this awakening. But there is no guarantee that there is a healing of the human self, of how thorough it is, or that this healing and maturing continues.
And if Big Mind functions thorough a distorted human self, with lots of knots and hangups, it will function in the world in a distorted way as well. The output is no better than the filter. (Instead of garbage in, garbage out as they say in science, is is Gold in, garbage out, if filtered through the garbage of the individual...!)
The temporal being with is a healing and maturing of the individual, and this goes on before and after Big Mind awakening to itself. It allows more and more areas of the individual to heal, reorganize and mature, in always new ways. There is no end to the process. The human individual can become a fuller, richer, more and more fine-tuned instrument for Big Mind in the world. More and more deeply human. More and more deeply Spirit awakened to itself, functioning through and as a human self.
As with so much else, it seems that both are needed, and that they are two ends of the same polarity.
The atemporal form is very helpful in clarifying the awakening, for Big Mind to recognize and become more intimately familiar with itself.
And the temporal form is essential for a deeper and more thorough healing and maturing of the individual, which is a vehicle and filter for Big Mind in the world of form.