Sense of I
Just some of the more obvious things about a sense of I, one that is separate, placed on an aspect of the field of the seeing and seen, creating a sense from I and Other.
It comes from, and perpetuates, a sense of I and Other, a split in the field.
It is usually placed on aspects of this human self.
It is fleshed out by various identities, of being this and not that, wanting this and not that.
It comes from a belief in the idea of a separate I, and the identities added onto it comes from beliefs in other thoughts (I am/want this and not that.)
It works in space and time, creates an I and Other within space and time, and a sense of being finite in space and time.
The finality of it brings up fears of nonexistence, and also of pain and suffering since I am to a large extent at the mercy of the whims of larger whole.
It is fluid, always changing moment from moment.
The sense of I is placed on the most likely candidate arising in the moment, often what is familiar as an I.
It is made up of conglomerates of sensations and identities.
Right now, I notice a sense of I floating around. It is placed on a set of sensations in the neck/head area, creating a sense of I here, as a center, and Other out there, in the periphery. It is associated with identities of wanting the current comfort to continue, of liking the music I am listening to (Salvatore), of enjoying the softness of my sitting surface and the warmth, of wanting to be clear and at least moderately perceptive, and so on. Infinite identities, filtering the field of what arises into I and Other, and splitting in my own experience.
Since what arises is mostly OK with the identities fleshing out this sense of I, the sense of I and Other is not so strong. But as soon as something happens to threaten these identities, a disruption to a quiet evening, then the sense of I and Other becomes stronger, and there is a desire to reinforce identities and change circumstances to not threaten identities, including all the wants embedded in them.
Labels: currently, sense of I