Befriending - In Two Ways
Since my teens, I noticed the process of (a) having aversion coming up sometimes just by the sight of someone, and (b) having it all unravel - or at least my view of the person be far more inclusive and easier to live with - when I got to know the person more, when I took the time to connect with the person. So one of my practices, just to deal with the pain of the aversion triggered by someone, is to connect whenever I notice this happening.
It works, and yet - it is in a certain way only a band-aid, a temporary solution. If the beliefs triggered by that person are not dealt with, it will come up again, and again, and again, with different people and in new situations.
So what seems to work even better is to befriend the person and befriend the belief. Or if I cannot or chose not to befriend the person, to at least befriend the belief.
When I befriend the belief, I explore it, examine it. I see if it really is true, what happens when I believe it, what would happen if the belief was not there, and to turn the statements around in whatever way I can turn them around - and see if there is some truth in these new statements as well.
It is a simple process. It is a natural process. It is what our minds naturally do when it is more unstuck. Is it true? What happens when I believe it? What would happen if I don't believe it? Is there truth to the turnarounds to the statement?
It is the function of the mind when it is more unstuck, it is its natural receptivity and curiosity at work. And it invites the mind to continue to unstick, over and over.
And it is the process reflected in The Work, of course.