Center yet no I

After having her center of gravity shifted into the Witness (pure awareness) recently, in waves, Jen mentioned how curious it is that there is still a sort of center in her human self, although it is not an I.

Ways to talk about it...

That is curious. I tend to see it as a functional connection with our human self. There is input from this human self, and it arises within this field of the world of phenomena as it happens in the present - this room, sounds of cars, sounds of a plane, chirping of birds, chill on the hands, tapping of the keys on the keyboard, and so on. Still, it is just one aspect of the field - not more "I" than anything else.

Another way to describe the connection is as a vehicle. My human self is a vehicle for Big Mind in the world of phenomena.

All is Big Mind, yet also special connection

It is tricky, and - yes, puzzling, as everything is Big Mind. All phenomena is the play of the ground - equally. The whole world of phenomena is this dance of the one ground, it is emptiness dancing.

Yet, there is also a special connection with this particular human self. It is temporary, of course - as this human self is appears only for a limited time. Still, it is an important connection.

Identification and disidentification

There is the possibility of identification as and with this human self, or parts of it. And that still happens. It creates - to varying degrees - a sense of self, of a doer, of I and Other.

And there is the possibility for disidentification with this human self, as seeing it as arising as and within the field of phenomena - as one of the fluid manifestations of ground. And that happens too. Here, there is no sense of doer, no sense of separate self, no sense of I and Other.

Appearance of...

Maybe all I can say is that there is a functional connection, and that connection takes the appearance of...

Sensory input from the wider world of phenomena (this room, the outdoors and son on). Sensory input from this body (sensations, feelings, physical correlates to emotions). Input in terms of emotions and thoughts.

And the appearance of output, in the form of behaviors. Although when there is disidentification with this human self - when the exclusive identification drops, then it is all revealed as just happening - as everything in the world of phenomena is just happening. There is no doer, only the doing.

Fine tuning

So while I could say that this human self provides the opportunity for input and output, that is not really accurate. There is not really any output, as the sense of a doer falls away when the identification with my human self falls away.

And what about the input? That does still seem mostly real to me, although I suspect it is not.

The whole idea of input and output, and even a vehicle, is also somewhat inaccurate. That too creates a separation that is not really there.

The most accurate way to talk about it, as it appears to me right now, may be emptiness dancing. It is all emptiness dancing. It is accurate, closer to the absolute. Yet so succinct that it leaves out most of the possible differentiations, most of the possible explorations of it from the relative side.

These other ways of talking about it seem useful as well. Each highlight certain aspects of what seems to be going on. Each one talking about it from a certain overlay of abstractions, at a certain level of relativity.

Labels: big mind, functional connections, human self, identity