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Struggle

I notice I am occasionally bugged by people who seem to struggle a great deal in everyday life. People who seem under a strain, who breathe heavily (from stress), who have a somewhat harsh and unpleasant way of moving, appear slightly panicked etc.

So for me, this is experienced as an "other", as a disturbance, which is a good indicator that I am excluding something from my own experience - that I am making what could be a "me" into an "other".

In this case, I see that I tend to exclude my own sense of struggle, gloss it over and create an impression for myself that everything is smooth - even in the midst of a sense of struggle...! I am well aware of each of the symptoms of struggle, and often do welcome them in, but I still cling to an idea of an overall "struggle free" life.

There is obviously a discrepancy here, and life helps me see this. When I exclude something from my experience - or cling to abstract ideas not aligned with what is - I make what is excluded into an "other", which then shows up in my life in various ways as a disturbance. And the discomfort that goes along with that "glues" me to what is excluded until I welcome it back into the warmth.

So this is how it goes when wI take that which is whole and seamless (Existence), split it up, suffer the consequences of it, and then finally give in and bring it back into the whole - although now in a more conscious way.

As so often, the process seems to go from unconscious wholeness (as an infant), via half-awake duality (exclusion, as we grow up), to a little more awake wholeness. And the last two phases repeat themselves endlessly as there is always something more to include, there is always something left out.

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