Accumulation
I live my life in the dance between awareness - when everything is unfolding within me, and forgetfulness - when habitual patterns take over and I am lost in them.
Circumstances & agency
I notice how situations are conducive for one or the other. For instance, when it is quiet or I am in a supportive situation for awareness (such as a Breema intensive), it is easier to allow it all to unfold within awareness. Other times, when things are happening fast or the situation appears less conducive for awareness, the habitual patterns tend to take over.
At the same time, I know that it is all about me as well. It is not about the situation.
Accumulation
And this is where accumulation, or forming new habits, come in. If I engage in regular self-breemas, breema bodywork, sitting practice and so on, it is much easier to transfer this into other situations. This is true on many different timescales.
If I do sitting and/or self-breemas in the morning, it tends to transfer throughout the day. If I do it in the evening, it transfers into my sleep. If I do it regularly over weeks, months and years, it tends to transfer into more and more different situations, even those which tends to trigger the deepest and most habitual patterns.
It accumulates. I am creating new grooves, deepening over time.
And it is also like money in the bank. When I practice - through self-breema, sitting and in daily activities - I deposit a small amount in the bank. And when the situation turns difficult, I can draw on it.