Relaxing Into
In Buddhism, Breema and Waking Down, there is an emphasis on relaxing into our experiences.
Relaxing into them as they are right now, independent on how we habitually relate to them (push away or cling to).
This helps us go beyond our regular blind dualism, where we fragment the world and ourselves. Where we, based on ideas of "right" and "wrong", choose to cling to some aspects of ourselves (identified with) and push other aspects away (shadow, identify others with).
When we relax into our experiences, there is no separation. We bring it into awareness, as part of ourselves - as part of our shared humanity. And we can move beyond. We create a situation where we can mature as rich and whole human being.
And we find the gold in what we used to push away - through increased empathy (seeing in others what we recongnize in ourselves), energy (released from not having to push it away anymore) and clarity.
Update Jan 31
I read Raphael Cushnir's book "Unconditional Bliss" yesterday (sitting in the sun by the river), and it gave a quite beautiful and simple outline of the process. (a) Bring into awareness your experience right now, and (b) ask yourself "can I be with what I am experiencing now?".
As he mentions, reality is as it is. Resistance only drains energy.
And when we relax into our experiences as they are, we gain both energy and clarity. No separation gives rise to - ironically - some distance and perspective. We are in a better position to relate to our situation in a more fruitful and constructive way.
Breaking Down vs. Breaking Open
When we resist intense and/or difficult experiences, we can break down. When we relax into them, we break open.